October 2020

Rippety Offedy (21 October 2020)

I went to the dentist. I had chipped my left front tooth and wanted it filed down so it was the same size as the right front tooth. I went to the dentist and sat in the empty souless waiting...

Cottaging (17 October 2020)

They call Gaffer tape Duct Tape in the US. We used it when we had a band. Strong, durable and perfect for covering up cables and sticking together battered instruments. It comes in many colours and if you bite into...

Mr. Frisby. For Sarah (13 October 2020)

I put on an old blue anorak, pulled up the hood, tugged on thick socks that were a gift from a Portland contributor when we filmed there, squeezed into my heavy walking boots, took my glasses off, snuck them in...

Driving Ambition (11 October 2020)

When I was in my very early thirties I decided to learn to drive. My first instructor was a chauvinist pig. "That's the trouble with women drivers" he would sigh, "If something drops on the floor they cant leave it...

Village People ( 6 October 2020)

The Global village is too damn big. None of us know what we should be doing in this massive overgrown village of ours. I don't think there should be systematic killing or genocide or enforced sterilisation I just think we...

Heads Up ( 1 October 2020)

I've just been informed by my historical friend that Elizabethan hats were an essential part of clothing for men in the 'Peacock Age'. That they were, in fact, required to wear their headpieces, along with their codpieces, at dinner. The...

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