Quantum Fizzicks

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 8 December 2018

It's cold innit?

About which I'm delighted - too warm and I'm reminded there's warming issues on this ball of earth we call home..

We've raked the leaves so many times not one single forest fire will beset us until 2022.

I've bought misshapen apples, cos they were cheaper.

So after my yoga, which was mostly spent on my back trying to figure out how to push my left leg through my right arm and balancing my body whilst attempting to watch the teacher, who speaks so softly it was impossible to hear her instructions over the crashing dumbbells above us in the newly refurbished gym. This Yogarini has body issues, pain issues, hearing issues and issue issues. The class ended with most of us saying Namaste ( not me though ) but I did give the instructor, with her toe ring, a tiny little clap. Slid into my car and drove the long way round so the heater would warm up. I went to the flower shop where the farmer breeds chickens that lay double yoked eggs every time. They are so obese, the eggs not the hens, that they just fit into my fancy egg cup.If they could they would spill over the edge rather like my muffin top. I've just finished two of them, boiled for 3 and a half minutes, with two slices of some kind of healthy toasted bread, loadsabutta, and a smattering of green stems from some giant spring onions alongside a cafetier of coffee.

Last night I could not quiet my mind, having watched Spike Lees' Blackkklansman' so I climbed out of bed, leaving my husbands Afro on the pillow, and ended up watching 'Dumplin' Jennifer Aniston's vanity project. She both produced it and stars in it. The perfect antidote to insomnia. Cant help but compare Jen to her younger self. What am I like? The film was cliche ridden, unnecessary but quite the best sleeping draft. I fell asleep right in the middle of a deeply irritating story line that was so obvious my 117 year old cat could have meowed the outcome.

Now I've got to do the Christmas Tree. I say got to, actually I don't have to do anything I don't want because I AM OLD. There are no demands on my time except organising treats, doing the occasional professional job, attend a party here and a mosh up there. A train ride there and a drive to the coast with my patient husband, who has such healthy blood pressure that he puts all the butchers dogs in Leeds to shame.

So how does he deal with the onslaught of seniority? Well he chops wood, lays the fire, lights the fire, sits in front of the fire, sweeps up the ashes when the fire is done, empties the grate, then does it all over again the following morning; You may say what's the 'effin point? And indeed it is a philosophical conundrum that philosophers have been grappling with since before the first dinosaurs grunted there way into Jurrasic park.

If everything we do is temporary why do it in the first place? If we're gonna die anyway what's the 'effin point in living? If Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy was to be believed, given the inevitability of death, there is no rational justification for saying that life is meaningful.

So how meaningful is meaningful, you may ask? If everything is temporary, like that lovely toffee chocolate hanging on the tree that can be scoffed in 11 seconds, what was the point of eating it in the first place. Eleven seconds of pleasure on the lips, a fortnight of aggravation on the hips, was it worth it?. And when you can see the light glimpsing at the end of the tunnel, and Paris is falling, and Brexit is ailing and Trump is lying, what the BeJeesus do we do, and how do we do it? Watch it crumble or exclaim loudly 'Damn it all' and treasure every second of exquisite living. Be grateful for every crumb of food, every beat of the heart, every sensory pleasure that makes us human, is that how to do it?

50 years ago I was working on a theatre show in Israel. Early in the morning I would sit on the beach and contemplate my pippick ( Yiddish for navel) and breathe in the Mediterranean Sea air whilst the sand of time ran through my fingers. As the sun rose I felt a light tap on my arm, I looked up at a beautiful young man who told me I had Yemenite shoulders. He could have been right, he could have been wrong but given what's happening to 'my' people - your people - everybody's people - It's time to take stock and rattle the cage of inhumanity and selfishness that is trolling the world, whether or not my shoulders are Yemenite or not.

Everything is and everything isn't, and since everything is, and everything isn't we might just as well indulge the IS as opposed to the ISN'T. And if we're all just molecules bouncing around along with porridge, soup and the occasional oyster, what the bleep does it matter? Cos when the inevitable happens, we'll know what it was all about and then it will all make sense won't it? Not that I'm suggesting we should all jump off a cliff, to find out the answer, but whilst we're all bobbing around until doomsday perhaps we should have something of a good time whilst we're doing it. Shouldn't we?

I'm going to ask the old git what he thinks because, whilst he's still alive he'll have an answer. I'm off to the woodshed.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes

Comments

1. At December 8, 2018 8:05 PM Joe wrote:

Hey Jeni Barnett,
I write this, slightly embarrassed, slightly star struck but definately slightly happy!
I think I've finished my onslaught of work for the year....... and now steadying myself for the Christmas celebrations and family doo's!
The wifey and the kiddies took themselves off, with grandma and grandad, on a Christmas train journey, around Tenderten and the sorounding counties!
I....... was too tired from work to go.......got home not long after 2 in the morning, having got up at 4 in the morning, the morning before?!
Hope that makes sense....... I have no idea what hour it is!
However, I summoned up the energy to go out into crowborough........ to buy supplies for out Saturday night.......not only was my venture based on buying food ingredients, my other mission was to find a wreath for the front door!
I did get one...... and I'm sure you were in the shop too!
I wanted to say 'hi'........and say you're my hero........but I decided not to....... you never know how those things turn out!
We've always bought our wreaths from catford market, who always had the best...... it was a struggle finding one that was as good and not spending the kiddies inheritance on one!
Crowborough is a far cry from what I'm used too.........but I managed to buy and hang the wreath today, before the gang made it home........ and even better, I think I saw my hero!
Much excitement in the borowski household tonight!
Funny, small things......... it made my day!
I watched you as a kiddie myself, listened to you on the radio....... read all your blogs for the past, so many years!
Without you and my kiddies, I would probably struggle in this little town!
We're off to Covent Garden tomorrow........ to show the kids the giant Christmas tree and the pulsating Thames!
Thankyou for splashing a bit of pizzazz on this place and my life!
Have a wonderful Christmas,
The borowski's

2. At December 8, 2018 8:32 PM Mrs Croc wrote:

Isn't that why religion was invented?
I agree with making the most of every day though.

3. At December 17, 2018 9:40 AM Laz wrote:

Jeni! What a surprise to see you on Michael Mcintire's show! Haha! I had to rewatch that part 5 times! I was in fits! The helmet was massive on you and u looked like you'll topple over! I was envious of the way Gina had you on top of him in a big hug! But you did look a bit shell shocked! I suppose because you weren't miked up so we couldn't hear you. I'm sure u had plenty to say! Did you really have to stay up that night to do this?? Wow! Gino was hilarious!
Anyway, you look marvellous, delicious and huggable!
Love u,
Xxx

4. At December 24, 2018 7:31 PM Rhianon wrote:

Merry Christmas Jeni. Hope you have a happy, healthy time, full of joy, fabulous food and thrilling company.

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