Nul Point

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 10 May 2014

Last night I starred in my very own time lapse sequence in a film about insomnia.

In the bed.

Out the bed.

Under the duvet.

Over the duvet.

Down the stairs.

Up the stairs.

In the bed.

Out the bed.

Hugging God's Gift.

Ditching God's Gift.

In the kitchen.

Out the kitchen.

In the bed.

Out the bed.

Kicked off cat number one.

Kicked off cat number two.

In the attic.

Out the attic.

Mung Bean soup one cup.

Mung Bean soup two cups.

Cats in the cat flap.

Cats out the cat flap.

Talked to New York.

Read the side bar of The Mail - yuk buck.

I do not know why I was so restless.

I did the Tarot. Once

I diid the Tarot. Twice.

I did the Tarot. Thrice. The last time until I got some cards that didn't make me want to slit my writs....which is insomniaspeak for wrists.....

Came down and did ODINS JOURNEY cards, so many times until I could hear the trolls screaming NOG REDAN, which loosely translated means ENUFF ALREADY.

I had been into London Town to partake of Champagne, chips, chorizo sausages and crudité with a birthday friend. We have known each other since we both were in underwired bras.

The old git met us in Grouchos, we supped even more bubbly until my mouth went dry. Then it was the train home. I have glasses that make reading impossible so doing the crossword with Jimbo was a nightmare. We had one clue left as we rolled into Tunbridge Wells.

'Domestic? HOUSE-O-D'

By the time we reached the car-park it dawned on me 'HOUSEHOLD I shouted. Jim had moved on from the crossword and had lost the will to live.

Watched HIGNFU, and laughed out loud. Then the News, not much fun in that, then Graham Norton. Very enjoyable.

Then I went to bed and it was

In the bed.

Out the bed.

Under the duvet.

Over the duvet.

Out the bed.

Up the stairs.

Watched two eps of Corrie.

In the bed.

Out the bed.

It was now light, the birds singing, so I turned on the television to watch THE GOLDEN GIRLS. The ancient episodes lullabied me to sleep.

I crept upstairs, eyes closed, not wanting to wake myself up.

I cancelled yoga as I thought doing a triangle pose without balance would be suicide. I slept till 9.00 three hours of uninterrupted kip.

Today we went to GRINSTEAD LANE to 'STEP BY STEP' a little autistic school of which I am a patron.

The kids made Jim and I cry. Counting blessings as we sat and watched them play. The parents, and staff inspirational.

The lunch weren't half bad too.

A bit of a shop for Eurovision supper snax. A mooch round a photographic exhibition of pictures of Pablo Picasso taken by Lee Miller. Local history and all that.

Home and I put the chicken soup on - Jim has discovered he likes to boil up his pasta in the broth. Roasted red peppers in garlic and olive oil and boiled up three beetroots.

Changed into pj's in prep for an evening of daft tv.

We had a power cut so the electric clocks say 0.00.

'Nul Point'

How did they know?

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes


1. At May 11, 2014 6:05 PM poppy wrote:

Jeni ... insomnia ... I suffered from it 10 years ago. .Went to GP .. blood test ... thyroid problems. Not enough hormone. On meds now and sleep like a baby. Feel great!

Get a blood test!

2. At May 11, 2014 6:06 PM poppypeewee wrote:



No sleep stops you enjoying life.


Enough said.

3. At May 11, 2014 6:09 PM poopypeewee wrote:

Hey ... it wasn't the alcohol that you consumed that evening that was the actually cause of the insomnia?

In that case ... stop alcohol intake in the evenings.

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