Wade in the water

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 3 February 2014

The weather is not grey it's a whitish charcoal.

The cat is not sat on the mat but on his cardigan on the corner of the table.

A new generation artist is playing Bach in E flat major on the guitar. It is lovely.

I've just done the accounts, as I do every month. I do the sums and the 'oosbind does the computing; between us we get the bills paid and the tax man quiet.

The car is in the garage for its annual service. Hello break pads goodbye another hundred quid.

I've still got my first class British Airways pj's on, I have been severely struck by the virus that has everybody saying. 'Oh have you been struck by the virus' THE VIRUS is a creeping hammer blow of a bug that attacked me last Monday at the dinner table. BY Tuesday I was stuck to my bed. CANCELLED EVERYTHING, including all my lovely hot yoga classes. I was bereft. Thursday I ventured into town to put my voice down for the travel film which will be aired some time in March. I had to do it blind so I have no idea what the pictures look like. Ollie was in Oz so we didn't get to meet.

Then it was into Golden Square for lunch in THE NORDIC CAFE. I had eggs and herring on dark rye bread, then earl grey tea, then a sticky bun then a hot chocolate then a piece of TOSCA cake. Yes I felt as sick as a dog, compounded by the hammer bug. I Went into No. 20 for my voice over which I thought was going to bring in so much revenue I bought myself a bottle of scent on the back of it. In the end I was the last LINE ONLY - having been removed as the old pot - only the english guide track, to boot. So just a studio fee for me, and my British guide vocal which was being sent out to INDONESIA, THAILAND AND VIETNAM. Maybe someone in Ho Chi Min city will hear my voice talking about Sunlight Soap degreasing beautifully and hire me for their restaurant opening. I can make any time and they can pay me in dim sum, vegetable spring rolls and sesame toast.

I shuffled to the station, feeling worse for wear and took a train to somewhere near where I sleep. Got turfed out at Tonbridge and waited on the platform with hundreds of grey Britishers who managed some kind of Dunkirk spirit. Not me i was as maudlin as they come.

On Friday I spent so long in the bathroom I lost half a stone and felt bluddy arwfool.

Saturday was a bit better until we realised the cellar had water swilling round the ironing board and under my lovely old Persian carpet.

Yesterday was mopping and swilling, wearing wellies to the freezer for the frozen peas and cooking a roast with rooty veg and green stemmed shoots. By the time we had finished supper I was back to my best in the bathroom.

Today I woke, drove the car down to the garage and have maintained my attire since i don't know when I'll be paying a visit to the little room. meanwhile all my lovely yoga classes are going to the way of my youth…..

The wind is up but not very, the writing partner is here again tomorrow. She walked into her bedside paraphernalia and punctured her nose we are useless from top to toe.

I'm off now to wade into the nether regions to load the washing machine. If I'm not back by February 7th call Jim

Happy February to you.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes


1. At February 3, 2014 11:44 PM 'L' wrote:

Poor Jeni, I wish you better and sorry about the water in the basement. Has it got to do with the heavy rains or a leaky washing machine??
When oh when are we going to hear your lovely voice once again on air? I wish it would be like the old days when you were on all week! Oh how spoilt were we then!!
Keep well and hope you can restart your yoga classes soon.

2. At February 5, 2014 8:22 AM Carol wrote:

Wish you better Jeni, you even manage to write with humour when poorly. Always look forward to your posts Cx

3. At February 5, 2014 9:22 PM poppypeewee wrote:

Not sure about you Jeni. Are you just chasing a dream? Are you washed up within the broadcasting World? I loved your broadcasting times on LBC and BBC, along with many others. Those same shows rule on listening numbers. Those numbers make you employable? The advertisers need their moneys' worth. Your voice needs to create them revenue. That is the joy of advertising.

Such a shame ... because I loved your broadcasts but would be sad to see you chasing a dream of forever.


Go out on a high before you go out washed up.

4. At February 5, 2014 9:30 PM Poppypeewee wrote:

Please forget your little hangeron bloggers .... that dream away and write what they think you would like to read. Totally nauseating. We all know who they are. They are regular as clockwork. Agree Agree Agree. You could write anything Jeni and they would agree.
( no names mentioned ) GO OUT ON A HIGH! Never leave a has been.

5. At February 7, 2014 5:02 PM Carol wrote:

How rude peewee!!!!

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