New Years Eve,

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 31 December 2013

So the wind and rain have become constant bedfellows down 'ere in roooral Sussex. The bins are out, the bottles are out, the black bin bags are out, and now we await the bin men, who given the set of the weather, may well decide to stay in doors dunking their Rich Tea biscuits..

The old man is asleep, the dawter is asleep, the new kitty-cat is asleep. Jim in his bed, B in hers and Kong Solomon on my knee.

I got up early thinking it was an hour later than it was, wrote my morning pages, had a cup of hot water and lemon and thought bout 2013. It was year of bereavements, loss and renewal. But then isn't it always. But it was also a year of living under the cosh at the BBC. Never knowing whether I had a job, didn't have job, never knowing whether I was wanted or not.

All sorts of somersaults took place in my head, dealing with humiliation, age, and status. It was a year of trading bad thoughts for good. I got what I had been thinking for a long time. The Beeb doesn't suit me. But I loved the work. I loved the crew, the audience, I loved the guests, I('[[[[[[[[[[' THIS IS WHAT THE CAT JUST DID HAHAHA) loved the fun of it, the work of it, the wage of it. But the underlying unhappiness that was present made me race for the door. Working under a regime that uses bullying and threats doesn't work for me. The BBC are forever talking about transparency and openness, it couldn't be further from the truth, well in my case anyway. So I bring this up now because 2013 was a year of uncertainty.

By September 15th when I had my last show I faced an empty future. I wonder whether the powers that be at Aunty Beeb, the bosses with their staff package and secure pay packets realise the chaos they cause, when they sack people, or whether they actually care. I understand my replacement was asked to leave after 12 weeks. My heart went out to her. But out of the blue came The Travel Channel with Ollie Smith and a tour of The West Coast of America. Eating , drinking and making merry for all to see. I think it goes out in the spring.

I was so happy back in front of the camera, my default setting, I'm sometimes more comfortable in front of a camera than I am in my own bath.

So 2014 is an open book. Could be anything, or nothing. Could be full or empty, you know thems with a spiritual leaning say that how you feel about yourself is a direct mirror to what you attract. So I'm learning how to love myself enough to attract success and opportunity. So I'm thinking I'm okay, despite what the BBC did to to me. It has taken a long time to get over this one, getting older - a friend told me I should have sued for agism - means I haven't got the energy to battle in the same way. But I'm not going down without a fight.

I'm not ready for the graveyard yet.

Which reminds me I had a repeat fee for a series I did 7,000 years ago. Opposite Christoph Waltz, his Bulgarian love interest. He was oscar winning then. I got 36, 94. I'm not complaining I may just frame the cheque.

The wind is whipping up, my stomach is crying out for breakfast and I can hear stirrings from upstairs. So it falls to me to say

THANK YOU all so much for being here.

Have a terrific New Years Eve, and may 2014 bring in new energy, magical experiences and lots and lots of love.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes

Comments

1. At December 31, 2013 10:24 PM poppypeewee wrote:

Happy New Year to you.
May all that you wish for be reachable.

Let those HUGE egos of the past subside and the realistic goals in your life be met full on!

This will bring true happiness.

May 2014 be a WAKE UP CALL!

2. At January 1, 2014 2:13 AM Jackie wrote:

Happy new year Jeni, good luck and all you want comes true in 2014. X

3. At January 1, 2014 7:51 PM Carol wrote:

Lovely to pop in and read your blog Jeni. Happy New Year!

4. At January 3, 2014 10:02 PM Tracy wrote:

Miss hearing you on Sundays Jeni, and I know what uncertainty of work is like as a freelancer too...but onwards and upwards for 2014!! Best to you and yours..xx

5. At January 3, 2014 11:03 PM Angela wrote:

Just keep blogging Jeni, love to hear from you however you may be feeling. Most of all let us know when we can hear/see you as I miss your programme so much. Doesn't surprise me your successor had such a short tenure, she didn't really stand a chance. Happy 2014 whatever it brings as long as you're out there. Xx

6. At January 4, 2014 10:03 AM Tish wrote:

Dear Jeni, we so miss you on the radio. I can't listen to that particular station anymore. However, cream always rises and you are amongst the cream of presenters. Can't wait to see your tv progs. x x x

7. At January 4, 2014 8:50 PM 'L' wrote:

My heart goes out to u my dear Jeni. Every day I tuned in hoping to hear your delicious voice on air once again. It's really sad to see the BBC making the same brutal mistake as LBC, which until today hasn't found someone with your qualities etc. I feel sweet revenge in them having had to sack your replacement (although pity for her),who was really unsuitable for the job.
Jeni, 2014 should be a happy and fulfilling year for you. March on with your head held up high, you're better then the lot of them! You are here to stay! You have many years ahead of you to achieve great things. True wisdom and inner beauty emerges from 60 and up. Keep up your lovely and informative blogs and keep sharing your feelings with us.
All my luv and kisses,
XXX

8. At January 4, 2014 11:07 PM Jane Barker wrote:

Hi Jeni, I've just come back to your blog after not reading it for a long while (sorry) as I wondered if your ears were burning over Christmas. At a neighbours 'do' we got talking about cooking, cookery books and programs. Who inspired us, what books we like and what programs we watched. We agreed we liked Allegra Mcevady, Michel Roux, Nigel Slater etc etc etc. (Delia taught me to cook and is still my 'bible'). Anyway we got talking about 'Great Food Live' (there have been many similar since so I hope I have the correct name). We laughed about some of the things you got up to, the great wine reviews (please tell Olly), how we liked the equipment bit etc etc.How me and my hubby used to laugh out loud whilst trying to eat our dinner and watch you at the same time, yes he liked it too and he is deffo can't cook won't cook. How we miss it/you. Please come back. 2014 could be the year my dear!!!

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