9/11 The Downs.

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 12 September 2012

12/9. 12.44. 22 days later and 24.00 hours after the event.

THE SETTING SUN in Brighton saw 50 odd people - and some of us were decidedly odd - eating and drinking to Renée Barnett.

For the last twenty two days my brother and I have closed down my 90 year old mothers life.

From finding the right funeral directors - Nigel and Janny Dengate were perfect - to letters to the bank.

From deciding on sunflowers and paying off the last of her bills.

Yesterday the sun shone as family and friends gathered in the Downs crematorium. The early punctual arrived early and the ones that left it till the last minute arrived as the doors were closed on the big chapel.

By the time Stevie Wonder sung us out there wasn't a dry eye in the house. But we had laughed, sung-a-long with the three daughters and marvelled at the speed with which a life of ninety years played out over a miraculous slide show that the 'oosbind had put together.

People had taken days off work and travelled from all over, my mother had touched so many peoples hearts.

Gratitude to their generosity for coming, and for all the hugs and kisses that were shared.

The details of the day and night will dribble out over the next few weeks, of that I am sure.

The hole that my mother leaves will be huge.

I know that the grieving process has to take place, so this Sunday everybody will gather in my garden for our annual JEW DO and we will remember Mrs. B in our own way.

Thank you to all of you for your wonderful messages and thoughts, always a reminder that we can shore each other up and that in trying times the only thing we have is each other.

Love to us all.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes


1. At September 12, 2012 3:47 PM Martin Rosen wrote:

When my mother died a few years back, we accepted the advice and help of her synagogue for funeral directors.

Now, my wife's Aunt, currently residing in Barnet Hospital needs to be found residential accommodation, as she has been deemed unsafe to stay in her own home. We have visited a number of places before deciding on the 'right' one. We just hope that she will be as happy there, as we think she will be.

2. At September 12, 2012 5:30 PM June wrote:

Someone told me Jeni when my sister died, "It doesn't get better but it does change", and I think that was the most honest remark of all. Don't know whether that helps.

Sent with love darling girl

3. At September 12, 2012 10:09 PM Rhianon wrote:

Yes, I like that. Love to us all. After 2 years I still catch myself thinking ''i'll have to show Ma this!" or ''Ma will laugh when I tell her this" and then a moments stillness when I remember.
Stupid, yeah?
Look after yourself, Jeni.

4. At September 14, 2012 10:09 AM Pauline Jones wrote:

Welcome back Terry, we missed you! Isn't it good to know that we are somehow all there for each other, although we have never actually met? Have a good Do on Sunday Jeni. x

5. At September 14, 2012 10:31 PM LV wrote:

AND now the ups. And i'm glad your still doing the do. I was wondering what had happened to the do!
I'll raise a glass to that - sending love light and sparkly bits. Enjoy.
xLove Light LVx

6. At September 20, 2012 10:51 AM 'L' wrote:

Darling Jeni,
I hope the 'Jew Do' consoled you somewhat and the healing process has began. The pain will fade away with time but the loving memories will always remain vivid and sharp.
You can be proud of the way you took care of your mother and made the last chapter of her life as comfortable as possible.
Look after yourself dear, spoil yourself a little and continue your wonderful walks with determination.
All my love,

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