To Sue or not to Sue

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 24 October 2011

I am not in any way criticising the NHS, they have enough troubles without me complaining about the closure of The Kent and Sussex Hospital, now anybody with an ailment will have to travel miles to a space station somewhere in Pembury.

Not that I would ever criticise doctors who are under pressure and doing their best but let me tell you if I ever clap eyes on 'Chan'.....I won't mention her full name.... I will stick a canula where the sun don't shine.

Rude is an understatement. Dr. C was condescending, unhelpful, arrogant, and one inch a way from me throwing a legal book at her. I am that close to making a formal complaint about the doctors and consultants who are treating my mother like a boomerang.

One month in hospital with a kidney infection, the ferris wheel of changing staff has to be seen to be believed. If I could have had one consistent conversation over the last six weeks things may have got easier.

I have the most wonderful Social Worker working on behalf of my mother but even she was shocked to see the state of my 89 year old ma when they sent her home.

My mother was discharged, two days later she called out the paramedics who were appalled that she had been sent home in the first place.

A massive swollen arm, when she had her mastectomy they took out the lymph nodes, a massive red hand. Two enormous legs that she can barely stand up on.

The hospital said my mother was fit to go. We said she wasn't, the social worker said she wasn't, the warden in her flats said she wasn't. the organisation that provides her care said she wasn't but Dr. C ,with her degrees and holier-than-thou- attitude saw it differently.

The warden controlled flats where she lives only has a warden from 9-4. Then my mother, and all the other elderly, frail folk are left to fend for themselves.

My mother has visits three times a day. Three times a day for fifteen minutes. They are not allowed to administer her medication because of health and safety. My mother is left alone with more boxes of drugs than Boots pharmacy. She doesn't know what day it is but comes up trumps in their cognitive tests because she is intelligent and wants to get the questions right. They believe my little old mum because they want to. They know she is going dulally tap but she just ain't bad enough.

My mother doesn't want to make a fuss, she doesn't want me to make a fuss but I am. I cannot stand by and watch as she swells ever bigger by the day, toxic and being pumped with drugs.

Hundreds of pounds worth of drugs, money that could be spent on good palliative care and nurses wages.

My mother does not complain but I do.

I have said she is not to be let out but the doctors in charge, who have very little understanding of age since they are too young to understand my mothers condition, are playing by the rule book. She ain't ill enough, she ain't nuts enough, she ain't bad enough for them to place her in a little nursing home. She is costing them in the region of 700 a week with the number of times she is calling out the paramedics and ambulances. All we want is for her to have a few years of respite, not thrown around like a bean bag.

They need her bed so its more convenient for her to be dumped back in her cage and fade away quietly.
They haven't banked on my mothers daughter though, who is prepared to shout very, very loudly unless they start treating her with a modicum of respect.

Am I prepared to name the hospital and the doctors, damn right I am. I'm giving them a few more days and then I will name names. What's the worst they can do to me hang up the telephone, strike me off their lists, reveal my identity?

This is about waging war on a hospital where my sister-in-law died, where MRSA was rampant. Where C-diff was rampant, where the food is about as appetising as the last microwaved dish chucked out because it's past it's sell-by-date. I know the nurses are doing their best but they have their hands tied too. None of my mothers nurses speak English, most of my mothers doctors do not speak English. There is a communication problem, if its affecting me then I damn well know its affecting millions of other families like mine who have paid into a Welfare State that is being dismantled before out very eyes.

My mother went into hospital with pink cheeks and a kidney infection, she is now bloated, yellow and waiting to die.

Dr. 'Chant'.... and her managers should be hanging their heads in shame.....

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1. At October 24, 2011 7:51 PM Lindy Fleetwood wrote:

I wonder if there is any way you can get her into UCH Euston Road it is amazing !! Hubby stays there on occasion! and we do not live in London as you know.
Meantime all I can do is again send you a massive cyber hug XXHUGXX

2. At October 25, 2011 12:21 AM LV wrote:

JENI and everyone - have a look at this; just Google/Search, 'notes from a hospital bed.' A journalist, aka Traction Man, created a blog during long term Nhs experience. This has attracted many postings and contributions over time. Some of them from me, i feel passionate about the importance of healing with dignity compassion respect. And a UKnurse has just formed an Epetition for MINIMUM NURSE TO PATIENT RATIO 1:4.
Please have a look and sign. Just Google/Search @ epetitions/19157. It is easy to sign and then pass it on.

100,000 signatories are needed before consideration for debate in parliament. Over the coming weeks/months even, please try to pass it on. There are millions of us in the UK. With easy and small individual effort, huge and positive change and outcome is actually EASILY ACHIEVED as a collective.
This is something that will eventually potentially touch any one of us sooner or later in one form or other.
TODAY, now yesterday, it is my turn to watch, wait and to worry, as my dad has gone into hospital and being kept in overnight.

Love the Light, LV

3. At October 25, 2011 8:05 AM Rhianon wrote:

I know. I do know, Jeni. My experience was similar. Ma had been in hospital waiting for an operation. Her Dr told her to continue taking her regular meds. Ma pointed out that these included Warfarin, which would stop her blood clotting. The Dr said, yes, continue to take it. The following day they scolded her like a naughty child for taking it. That day they gave her an injection of something very like warfarin, then gave her another row for not telling them they shouldn't have given it. I took the charge nurse, or duty nurse or whatever she was called into her office, pulled the 'Protection of Vulnerable Adults' book off her shelf and told her I'd shut her ward if she didn't give Ma the treatment she'd been waiting for and pull her bullying staff into line before I did. The following morning Ma had her operation and came home 3 days later.
You shout, Jeni. Shout as loud as you can. And no, it's not a political argument. This happened to Ma under a Labour government, in a Labour council. Politics is filth and money, no matter what party.

4. At October 25, 2011 9:28 AM Glenn wrote:

Oh Jeni, thinking of you and hoping things calm down very soon. Take care and lots of love, Glenn xxx

5. At October 25, 2011 12:58 PM Soryl wrote:

Your anger and frustration are palpable. Your jolly, optimistic and so lovable Mum deserves better and so do you. You should be enjoying these last years together, not battling the forces of evil.

6. At October 25, 2011 3:48 PM June wrote:

Hi Jeni

What can I say that you have not already said in your blog, except the people who have paid in the longest are now being treated with so little respect and dignity. Where is the integrity in a society that allows this to happen? We should all hang our heads in shame.
My heart goes out to you, the feeling of anger and frustration must be immense.
I so hope you get what your Mother deserves Jeni.

Love June

7. At October 25, 2011 3:54 PM яюv wrote:

Great post, thank you...

8. At October 25, 2011 7:40 PM Lyn Misselbrook wrote:

J - why are you giving them time? Time isn't what your darling mother has to spare.

Don't hesitate to do what you believe needs to be done to remedy the situation.

And target the managers - they are the real villains of the piece.

More power to you and yours! L xx

9. At October 26, 2011 7:49 AM Rhianon wrote:

Hope all goes well for your Dad, LV, take care, Rhianon. x

10. At October 26, 2011 10:05 AM Pauline Jones wrote:

Jeni you know that our thoughts and prayers are with you all the way. So many memories of coping with the same dreadful things with my own Mom six years ago. Go get em girl!


11. At October 27, 2011 2:59 AM Terry wrote:

Dearest Jeni. Yes i can quite see why you feel this anger in the way our older people are now being treated by the NHS esspecially your Dear Mother who means the World to you!! Why cant they treat us older ones with some form of respect as we have been paying that Nat insurance for a long time and we should get a benifit from the NHS because of our regular payments and instead we are shunned when we want treatment for anything.
Something happened to my mother in 1985 that i will never forgive! Mum was living at the time at LOMAS House in Worthing which is a retirement home for ex missionaries of the London Missionary Society and my parents had been missionaries in the Pacific and in India and in Africa Etc and after my father had a stroke and could not preach anymore at his United Reformed Church in George Lane Sth woodford. they were going to Move to Lomas House together but shortly before they moved there he died so my mother went to Lomas House to live in a room there on her own.
Well she lived there for several years and i was working in Memphis and Los Angeles for many of those years but i regularly came to UK to see her at Lomas House and take her for outings etc . then one day she was in her room in bed and it was about 3 am in the morning and her bed head was under the window and it had been left open and there was a violent storm with very heavy rain indeed and lots of wind and the wind blew the rain in through that window and my poor mum got soaked and she was not very able bodied and found it hard to get out from the bed so she pulled the Alarm to call Miss Haffner who was the warden on duty that night and when she came to my mothers room there was a mighty two and eight as she shouted at my mother and told her not to ring the alarm and my poor mum cried and cried. yess miss Haffner did close the window but the next day she did something to my mum that ill never forgive or forget . she phoned a NHS home on the other side of Wordsworth Rd and litteraly flung my mum out into this home across the rd! poor Mum could not understand what was happening and she was put in a big room with a lot of very sick old ladies nearly all sitting on commodes and the room stank of urine and S--T.
I got a call at my Home in Santa Monica California the same day and it was my Aunty Minn thats my Mums sister telling me mum had been chucked out and put in this dreadful place and could i help to get her in a decent home back up near Minn in Smethwick where she was born! well after 3 days of many calls across the Pond i finally found a nice home in Smethwick that agreed to take her and i flew straight from LAX to Heathrow and went straight to Worthing and saw my mum in this disgraceful place and i went over the Rd to Lomas House and i certainly gaveMiss Haffner a piece of my mind for how badly she treated my mum. Then later that day we took mum up to Smethwick to the Lovely Home there just round the corner from Smethwick Rolf street and she was treated well and lived the rest of her days there very happily thank God! So you see Jeni you must do whatever you can for your Mum we are all on your side! I do hope there will soon be a better outcome for your dear Mother Jeni. God Bless you. Cause We ALL LOVE YOU! Dont WE Bloggers?) Dear LV i do hope that your Dad will be A OK! very soon , i will be thinking about him you can be sure and remembering him and jenis mum in my Prayers! love to All of You from Terry XXXX

12. At October 27, 2011 10:07 PM LV wrote:

THANK YOU and Bless you Rhianon and Terry, my dad is out and OK now. He had a heart attack over a year ago now. And he has got to start slowing down and taking things easy. I guess that isn't easy for a stubborn workaholic!
I have to try not to despair sometimes when i hear of such dreadful healthcare experiences.
How can such a beautiful world hold so much darkness....
Love the Light LV

13. At October 28, 2011 9:26 AM Alison Cantwell wrote:

Jeni, that made me cry how sad to read your story. It cannot be justified the way your mother has been treated. It is apalling! I am a Registered nurse and believe care and dignity and the rights of the patient should be paramount. I think that you should write to the trusts chief exec and let them know how poorly your mother has been treated! Thinking of you. Alison.

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