Lachrymate me a River

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 20 July 2011

Dear Joanna, I am not in the slightest bit depressed, confused, knackered, sad and excited, not necessarily in that order, is my state of play at the moment. But depressed I am not.

I am in the middle of the move.

I have cleared my office. It echoes when I type.

I have cleared my bedroom. It echoes when I snore.

I have cleared the living room. It echoes when I shout at the Murdochs.

I have been to my doctor, an optician and a pharmacist. They all looked at my eye and told me I need to go to a hospital. So on Tuesday I am spending a fortune on having it cleaned, cleared, syringed and sandblasted so I can stop dribbling tears in my porridge.

I am having to go private because the Coalitions waiting list to have a routine clean is so long I will me lachrymating till September the 28th by which time I will have cried so many rivers my cheek will have an oxbow lake indented in it.

I could go and sit in casualty for a day or so but who has that kind of time.

NOT MOI!!!

Take today for instance, well tonight to be accurate, it's 23.37 and I am on telly tomorrow. I have newly coiffed hair so I won't sleep easily cos I don't want to muss it up. I have a black eye from acupuncture, over which I will slaver arnica and I have a gammy foot which means I wont be able to wear my naughty but nice heels, I have indigestion from eating too late and an overactive imagination from reading too much.

Today has been long and silly.

10.00 Admin calls to cancel more direct debits.

11.00 Conference call to France.

12.00 A quick ablute.

1.00 Sprint to Battersea Bridge.

2.00 Dash from Leicester Square to meet The Barry

3.00 Meet with Sandra Double-Barrelled.

4.00 Hair cut in Archer Street

6.00 Hampstead Theatre Club.

7.00 Sushi digested

8.00 Ruckus in foyer having arrived 5 minutes late

9.00 Allowed in for second half

10.00 Back in the flat.

11.00 Sykpe calls with the family back home in E.Sussex

12.00 BED.

On the escalator at Hyde Park my freedom pass flew out of my hand. I turned round and tried to get it but like Tantalus in Greece I could never quite reach it. Running backwards on the escalator is an Olympian feat. A woman in a hijab shouted with concern. The more I walked against the tide the further away the freedom pass went. I screamed at a young man coming down the escalator to retrieve it for me. He did with a deft flick of his wrist. It was like a Benny Hill comedy. He looked at this aging woman in dalmation dungarees and said softly;

'You could have hurt yourself.' His patronage made me laugh out loud. He, however, was not amused. He handed me back my freedom pass and told me to be more careful. I laughed all the way to Bank.

Then I had a coffee in Soho some Sushi in Swiss Cottage, a banana in Battersea and an iced water in Waterloo. I have eaten too much, drunk too much, talked too much and travelled too far.

All in all depression hasn't had a look in I couldn't have fitted it in even if it had come knocking on my cerebral cortex.

It is now midnight and I have to get my beauty sleep. Night to all you bloggers, thank you for your lovely messages. LV and R, as usual, and bless you Joanna for caring.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes

Comments

1. At July 21, 2011 7:53 AM Rhianon wrote:

I read on one of those wayside pulpit jobs, 'Sometimes God calms the storm. Sometimes God lets the storm rage amd calms His child.'
I like that.
Sounds like the storm in your eye/ move/ life overall is being calmed one way or the other. Good.
Yeah, we do care. Course we do. We've never met, never will I shouldn't think, but we get along!

2. At July 21, 2011 4:14 PM June wrote:

Hallo Jeni

Things I love:

1.Edmundo on a Sunday, he makes me want to dance, and I do, I do, I do!

2. Frank's beautiful song "Grateful", and I am, I am, I am.

3. Rhianon's "The colour of old memories", don't you just adore that.

4. You darling girl, your lovely blogs, your honesty and your wonderful sense of humour.

So yes I am truly grateful. Just wanted you to know.

Good luck with everything Jeni, the move, the work, your health, your family. At the end of the day I know you, like me are truly grateful.

With Love
June

3. At July 21, 2011 4:30 PM Joanna wrote:

You make me laugh and help me maintain that zest for life. It is so easy to lose the zest and you really do endorse the zest.

Keep up with your amazing energy as you are a complete inspiration.

4. At July 21, 2011 5:04 PM Lindy Fleetwood wrote:

Depressed?? you don't have time to be depressed you deserve a medal for everything you manage to cram into one day !!! Oh goodness ! we have just had a massive downpour and Mr. B has just been out digging away to clear up the mud which is now adorning the kitchen floor !! love to all xxhugxx

5. At July 21, 2011 6:35 PM carol wrote:

Jeni hope you get that eye sorted!! How you have time to blog i just dont know but im glad you do.
I have quoted you much lately... when ive been soothing a worried daugter about possibly of having to move from a much loved flat, when we've been thinking if she should have savings, a pension a mortgage! All sorts of life matters.
In such unsettled times i love your take on things and i love that you share your life and as we peek in to it we can be encourged, have compassion, empathy and laugh! it encourages conversations and challenges opinions, thankyou Jeni, sincerley thankyou.

6. At July 24, 2011 1:19 PM Lindy Fleetwood wrote:

Hope the eye is now recovering, excellent show today Jeni Love to all xxhugxx

7. At July 29, 2011 2:41 AM Terry wrote:

Dearest Jeni. I do hope that your eye is better now? It seems quite a few days since you have blogged. I hope all the moving of stuff from your riverside flat is not wearing you and Jim out too much as you drag it down just south of Tun Wells bit by bit! It must seem like the end of an era for you as you give up the Battersea Flat but its so nice you have the wonderful cottage which sounds cosy and idylic and i know you will be very happy there for many years to come! i loved your show as always and its always a highlight of my week to listen in to your splendid show and Long May it Continue!
I had friends Wayne and Dawn staying with me last weekend from Rowley Regis near Dudley just north of Birmingham and they wanted to see literally everything from thurs to Sunday eve before they went home. I dragged them round Fulham Palace then round Putney high St and the Exchange then home to the Heath for a Chicken Dinner then out to The Telegraph Pub on Putney Heath for drinks etc then the next day after breakfast it was Peter Jones at Sloane Sq eating in the rooftop restaurant there then straight to Harrods for bits then on to Fortnums in Piccadilly for more stuff and we got stuck in the lift for 10 mins HaHa! then relieved we went to Carnaby st and Dawn bought new sunglasses there then straight to The Stockpot Restaurant in panton St opposite the Comedy Theatre and we had lovely Spag Bol etc then we came back to putney heath with aching feet and relaxed in the lounge here with drinks and snacks. Then on Saturday after breakfast we headed to Westfield opposite BBC Car Park at White City Wayne wanted to take some BBC studios Pics so i dragged him to TV Centre then up to BBC White City Media Centre and showed him where the One Show studio is and showed him the old Olympic Finishing line just outside the building of what orrigianally had been the track of the old White City Stadium and he fund this all very interesting then we headed back home to the Heath again and changed and went out that evening to Wimbledon Village to The Strada Restaurant and had a lovely farewell dinner for the two of them . After they had gone back to Rowley regis gordon and I were very worn out Ha Ha! We are both going back to Germany for a holiday in August so i hope the weather will be better than when i went alone last june. i do hope that everything will start to work out as you want it to jeni and that you will have peace of mind and be Happy! remember there are a lot of your fans out here who really appriciate what you do for us all. And for that i must Thank You! i look forward to reading your next blog jeni. Much Love from Putney Heath. God Bless You! Love Terry xx

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