Bikram blues

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 21 February 2011

W all need stability don't we? With everything that is going on the Middle East, and what with the weather and unusual occurrences we all need stability? Well I do at least.

So today, given that I was being Vanessa, which is bit of a tall order, I wanted everything to feel stable and normal.

Th alarm went off just as it should, although I jumped out of bed as if a snake had bitten my ankle. Didn't know what day it was and ended up in the bathroom later than I should have done.

Left wearing an outfit I've worn several times before only I didn't put the right top on and only realised at the bus stop that I looked like a principal boy in very bad tights impersonating a ballet dancer with a very large lunch box to be devoured at Pineapple Studios.....

The bus was overcrowded with men in back packs and women in despair.

The tube was empty and Regent Street walkable. I arrived fifteen minutes early and sat down next to Esther my producer.

Unlike LBC, Esther chooses the stories, with my input. Lovely. So the Census, Food Eating Disorder Week and budget buys were decided on as the trio of stories.

One an hour. Wih a handful of newspapers just in case.

You lot were fantastic. My little desk was covered in texts and emails. The phone rung just as many times as was necessary and by noon I felt less terrified and more at home.

Sitting in somebody elses chair is trés difficile. But the team and vibes are supportive. From Ola the engineer to Esther and her helpers. Forgive me for forgetting their names, too many new people to take on board.

I do remember M, however, who emailed me to say I had mispronounced a word. M apologised to me later referring to me as Jo Good, which was one up for me. Jo I ain't but Good I aspire to be so M nearly got it right.

Then it was peanuts, coffee, three olives and a debriefing from Esther in Ozar's. Then another coffee and Barry's left overs. Two stuffed vine leaves, two little spinach packed triangles and a lot of support. Peter turned up, a delicious Scouser with a nose for a smell. What that scallywag doesn't know about an aroma you could write on the back of a scent strip.

So far so good. Everything felt new but stable. I took the tube to Victoria and got to the bus stop just as the 170 disappeared into the distance.

By this time all was not Kosher. I had caffeine overload and conversation withdrawal. Finally got back to the flat but had to drop into ROLANDA's, the best clothes shop in the state, to look at stuff for B's birthday which is next week.

Left and bumped into my roomie and cousin by marriage, so it was back to ROLANDA's for another mooch and then to the flat to change for my first yoga for ages.

Got changed. Jumped into the little red Nellie, arrived at Bikram in Balham and stepped into an avalanche of people. I could feel my stability disappear out of the air vents. Hung my coat up dodging naked nymphs and sharp elbows. Took my little pass card but had missed the moment. 72 places, some booked on line, had been taken by 72 people. All queuing to jam themselves into one hot, sweaty studio, and I thought maybe I had been saved from a fate worse than breath.

Trickled back to the flat - really disappointed although if I had got a place I would have hated all the people. After a day of noise in my head I need space and breathing room.

I have left my drink and towel in the car, but changed into my pj's, sox and sweater.

Maybe it was all for the best. I shall curl up in front of University Challenge, eat a little salad and go to bed ready for tomorrow.

Second day as Vanessa, I hope Vanessea had a good day being Jeremy.

I may book on line tomorrow for Tuesdays yoga class but I like having my little card swiped and I like having room to move. I just hope 31 people turn up not 72. If I don't get a place I really will get the Bikram Blues

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes


1. At February 21, 2011 11:07 PM Fee wrote:

You see - some of those people will have read your blog and how wonderful Balham Bikram is and you've done yourself out of a place!

You're doing really well on BBC London Jeni, worry not.

Hope your Ma is better.
Lerve xxx Fee xxxx

2. At February 21, 2011 11:33 PM LV wrote:

GREAT show i thought Jeni, on BBC LONDON 94.9. There you are i pluged it for you.
And very ballsy tackling the 'O' word again! I always thought obese was descriptive word, a medical term to describe overweight. I don't get what's so offensive about that. 'Fatso'-now that could be offensive. There is surely a difference. I can confidently discern that, but would not dare judge anothers sensitivity.......Lord almighty what a blinding minefield it all on Earth. Stable and normal is just for the alien passing through. Normal, i've never really liked that word......'normal' according to who's version of it, now that's the question.

I just watched C4's dispatches' with fantastic guy Mark Sparrow a journalist who spent ten weeks in traction in Nhs hospital. Feed on a diet of the diabolical. He forms a blog and starts to get his voice heard, comes out of hospital and follows up all his leads. Exposing another dark corner of health 'care.'
Bless you for caring Mark Sparrow. Another Angels Light shines brighter.
Love and Light LV

3. At February 22, 2011 3:34 PM Joanna wrote:

To LV .... when I read Jeni describing the nurse caring for her Mum as obese my first thought was typical yet another relative lashing out at NHS staff. Total disrespect for the nursing profession. I understand that, in the past, Jeni has had to absorb some negative comments about her own weight. HOWEVER ... Jeni is in the media and like it or not it is part of the course.
I have read with interest the many ways this issue has tried to rebirth the OBESE word. The fact still remains that the word OBESE was used to lash out at the nurse.

She could have used the word " spotty " the impact would have been the same.

Disrespect towards nursing staff. I really hope that the nurse in question is unaware of this blog.

4. At February 22, 2011 3:52 PM Nick wrote:

Another fantastic show today Jeni. I am so pleased for you.
I listened whilst working out in the gym and in the car and at home. It felt like old times but much better....
I hope that this leads to much more work within the beeb for you.
You deserve it.
Well done and as Fee says, worry not!!! biggest xxx

5. At February 22, 2011 10:00 PM LV wrote:

JOANNA iam sure you was a good and caring nurse. And it must have been quite the thankless task at times. However many people get defensive around medical staff until they have established they or loved one is in safe hands. As the good and bad walk and work together in every profession. For many there is no discerning that except through experience. And i can understand you will naturally defend your standing as a good nurse. However, i will naturally defend the patient after an appalling experience in Nhs hands.
I guess it's all a question of perspective. Bikram Yoga could be the answer...
Love and Light, LV

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