Wheres the wolf?

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 19 January 2011

Drove to Hertfordshire.

Took my seat on the green settee whilst four of us were talked through an average, common or garden, British funeral.

Four thousand pounds later four of us were at each others throats.

From limos to hearses from flowers to coffins the whole thing is a bloody rip off. Thanks to Harold Shipman doctors now make nearly two hundred quid out of registering somebody's death.

If I weren't already anti-authoritarian, after today I pigginwell would be.

Managed to get to the 5.00 o'clock Bikram bash.

Changed in two minutes and stood in the queue outside the lavatory.

Whilst waiting I asked the girl next to me whether the room was full.

'No' she said.

She couldn't be more wrong there wasn't a spare inch to lay a skein of cotton.

Anyway I said I was pleased there was space because I had had a horrid day at the funeral parlour.

'Why?' she asked. 'Are you an embalmer?'

'Why should I be an embalmer? I sneered

'Well that's what I did back home in South Africa.'

Of all the people in all the Bikram Yoga joints she should have walked into mine.

The class cleared my head.

I got back to the flat and ran a bath with Epsom Salts and Jo Malone's Rose Tubor bath oil. Lit three candles , put Mozart on the CD and wailed for at least twenty minutes.

Watched the Hattie Jaques film on BBC 4, which I enjoyed, then God's Gift came home. I ate up his unfinished broccoli and two slices of lovely bread and butter.

You can tell when I am out of control I hit the grain. after the day I've had I'm surprised I haven't eaten fourteen loaves and 8 tons of chips.

Full moon tonight - maybe that's why I feel so lunatic. I read that it's called THE WOLF MOON.

Hoooooooowwwwwwllllllllllllllll.... Help I'd better go shave my legs.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes

Comments

1. At January 20, 2011 11:27 AM Lindy Fleetwood wrote:

Jeni, Had I known you were up in our neck of the woods I would have put the kettle on !! Hope you eventually untangled yourselves from each others throats and had a big hug. Love to all xxhugxx

2. At January 20, 2011 4:20 PM Milford Lutton wrote:

Good article - Just what I asked to get working this afternoon

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