The Plough and the Pantry

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 7 October 2010

After days of rain the sun finally came out today.

I put on a pair of 505 Levi Jeans, and a t-shirt courtesy of my neighbour Jonathan's boot fair clothing line. I jumped into my little red car and drove to the top of the hill in my trendy attire - my expensive look cost me all of 4.50p.

On the horizon I could see tractor tracks in the earth. Different strips of brown loamy earth ploughed in straight lines.

I turned left into the forstal, the road was covered in clumps of dark, brown mud.

I stopped as groups of farmers in wellies, spaniels in mud and ladies in Barbers lined the country road.

The Crowborough and District Ploughing match was in full swing. The air smelled of newly dug earth, the assembled ploughers smiled, chortled and let my little car through. The huge wheels of the big red tractor dwarfed my little car.

I had stumbled into a moment of timeless country life.

Off to my beautician to have a hug and collect my face putty.

Then another trip to the Spice shop for my forgotten fennel,

I lay on my back to listen to a meditation tape that I also purchased from my next door neighbours emporium. Before I could gather up my aura I had fallen asleep.

The old git was in the studio fixing speakers and making sure the internet was still working. My mission today was to set about the pantry. I am not Nigella who revels in her over stacked larder. I can't think if my desk, table or pantry is too messy.

Most of the provisions had gone past their seel by date by around three years! Although I do have home made courgette, apple, and marrow chutney dating back to 1987...

Oh, the joy of taking tins of tomatoes, bags of flour, boxes of lentils, icing paraphanalia, packets of pasta, jars of legumes, packs of sushi, sacks of herbs, including my forgotten fennel, three years worth of cooking condiments, oh the joy of cleaning them, clearing them, chucking them, decanting them, polishing them, scrubbing the shelves and then the sheer pleasure of putting everything back. The 'oosbind helped me. Now the pantry looks like the British Library with everything in its rightful place, just like the Dewey system. Only in my house it's not the Dewey but Jewey system...I looked at the clock and it was 10.30.

I had missed the news, although listening for the umpteenth time to the Prime Ministers plans for our Big Society, was not a great loss.

We ate our supper very late, and by the time I had plastered my naval with a herbal medicant which I had to leave on for twenty minutes it was way past midnight.

It's now 2.03. I've had my obligatory time in the armchair, the father of my child on the bean bag rubbing my feet and a spot of late telly with Professor Brian Cox telling us about Saturns moon - Titan - and leaving me with the thought that we cannot be alone in the universe.

To put my feet firmly back on the ground I went and had a look at my clean shelves and sparkly dresser.

Tomorrow it's cobweb alert in the studio and the laying down of clean rugs.

There is talk of warm weather on the way but I think we have to go to Mars to get it. What must it be like to have a scientists brain? To marvel at the miracle of our universe, ask questions and maybe come up with some answers. Me, I'm about as scientific as a puy lentil. Which, just for the record, is on the second shelf down next to the split peas and underneath a tin of baked beans. I bet Dr. Cox didn't know that.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes


1. At October 7, 2010 11:41 AM Joe Borowski wrote:

Dear Jeni,
I have indeed boycotted LBC since you left them and have switched over to the delights of radio 4.
I miss you and your shows lots but the wonderful thing is, I have now discovered your blogs.......which I love. Your writing is beautiful!
I can now rest easy as i am assured my little slice of Jeni Barnett in the afternoon.
Thanks Jeni,

Joe Borowski

2. At October 7, 2010 1:38 PM Gillian wrote:

Hi Jeni,
I can't believe what I have just read, that you are no longer at LBC. I have been tuning in every day and at first thought you must be on holiday but as the time went on I thought there must be something wrong. I really miss you at 1pm used to sit down with my lunch and listen to you as indeed my daughter did on her days off from University. We miss you terribly, Petri isn't a patch on you and dare I say even go so far as to say she is quite boring!! I wish you well with your next venture in life xxx

3. At October 18, 2010 12:43 PM Hoover tempo widepath wrote:

I never thought of it that way, well put!

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