Wrinklies forever.

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 9 February 2010

Everything is fine.

This morning a big, plump South African rung my bell.

He came upstairs and with notebook in hand, took down fastidious notes about cleaning my carpets.

Then a young man from the Far east, and I don't mean Leytonstone, arrived with a big machine, bottles, mops, and a look of deep concentration, had words with his boss and set about shifting a rug here and an armchair there.

I left.

My left ankle is no better so I hobbled to the bus stop. Sat hunched up and texted, emailed and made a noisy nuisance of myself on the 170.

LBC was calm and quiet. I had a Chinese apple, all juice and pretension. They look like a light lemon apple, have the bitability of an ordinary apple but taste of absolutely nothing.

A cup of camomile tea and a call to the old git. 'The carpets look fantastic', he enthused. I have never heard him so impressed about anything, let alone an acrylic, beige carpet that has more stains than the York Minsters Rose Window.

Last night I went to see BLIND SIDE with Sandra Bullock and a lot of Hollywood schmaltz. Schmaltz is literally dripping, the fat that comes out of the chicken. So you get the picture of the picture.

B and I enjoyed it though. It's a heartfelt story, TRUE, about a white family who take in a big, black boy, educate him, rear him, love him and eventually send him off to university where he becomes one of americas best know Football Players. The boys mother was an addict, Sandra Bullock looks nothing like the Saintly mother who took him in. All I could think about was how fantastic Ms Bullocks body is, her skin her lips when really I should have been thinking about the moral dilemma of an alienated kid from the hood. Okay so it made me cry but that had more to do with Ms Bullocks buttocks than the ball throwing boy.

Afterwhich B and I went and had a Japanese meal in Holborn. It was one of those places where you sit on a stool and your dinner passes before your very eyes. The conveyor belt, carrying tempura, sponge cakes, fried chicken, sushi and squid went round and round. I actually felt sea sick by the end of the meal. It's impossible not to pull off a little plate so the bill turns out bigger than most of The Japanese people I have ever met. A lot of money later I shoved the girl into one cab going east, whilst I jumped into another going South.

I'm grumpy at the moment as I am attempting to rectify my hypothalamus which is as sluggish as a slug in Sluggenia. I am working with a brilliant doctor who lives in Exeter and works down the phone. Stay with me and I'll tell you whether her drops and supplements work.

Jim's gone off to 'The Lyric' to give his 'Three Sisters' and I'm waiting for my Thai princess to give me a massage.

Andy Sercis won the 'Evening Standard' best acting award for playing Ian Dury in 'SEX AND DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL', the first of many I hope, he deserves it.

I'm setting my alarm for 5.30, jumping out of bed and turning it off. Jumping back into bed and dreaming of the writing I should be doing. I've set it for 5.30 for tomorrow, I hope that my clean carpets and massage will change my behaviour.

On todays show a woman complained about me calling us oldies WRINKLIES, as long as I am still around to call anybody anything I don't care what I'm called as long as it's not quits.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes

Comments

1. At February 10, 2010 3:58 AM christian wrote:

In A word

"BOTOX"

Copyright 2007, Jeni Barnett. Website produced by Chopstix.