39 steps home

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 5 August 2009

23.20. I walked over Battersea Bridge. The moon was so big and bright, the Albert Bridge so sparkly and pink the air so still, it was like being in a Nicholas Cage movie, I fully expected him to jump out from behind the bus shelter in Hester Road and sing me an aria from La Boheme. Instead four kids, on bicycles, did wheelies past me.

But the air is heavy tonight, I have beads of sweat on my forehead and a little towel wrapped around me. if I were an ice-cream I would melt. If I were a wax work I would melt. If I were a cheese toasty I would melt, If I were a rich fruit and nut chocolate bar....SHUT UP!

When I left the studio at 4.00 I had no idea how warm it was outside. Leicester square fills up with tourists and happy natives when the sun comes out, it's all very jolly. I was met by a friend, we are working on a project together, it may or may not work but at least we are doing it. We queued at the Half Price Ticket Booth and bought half price tickets. The ticket guy recognised me. 'I knew it from the voice.' he said shyly. It was the second time today. At 10.45a.m. in Trafalgar Square a White Van Man shouted out of the window of his white mans van 'JENI BARNETT' the inflection went down up-up down, like I was a football chant. I raised my arm in greeting.

After queuing for about 20 minutes we bought two half price tickets to see 'The 39 Steps' then we went off to a Vietnamese restaurant for a natter and noodles.

The waiter was very keen and all over us like a rash. No sooner had we sat down but the menu was pressed into our hands. We ordered two cold spring rolls. The menu was removed. We ate, the menu was returned. We ordered chicken salad and pork kebabs. The menu was removed. The plate of chicken was slapped down on the table and the menu returned, and so it went on until I nearly choked on my prawns wrapped round sugar cane. I could feel the fibres catching on my tonsils, when the waitress recognised me from 'Goo' Foo' Lie' I thought I was going to need the Heimlich Manouvre.

It cost us 12.50 each, which wasn't bad for a West end supper and the first of our 20 scenes.

Then it was off to Soho, Berwick Street to be precise, for a coffee in 'Flat white'. Cam, who owns it, is off to New Zealand for five weeks so we talked about his new baby and ate his gluten free carrot cake to celebrate.

'The 39 Steps' was funny. The audience were mainly tourists and the cast of four did our acting profession proud. I laughed at one sequence but not quite as much as I did in the Vietnamese restaurant.

Took the 22 bus to the Kings Road then walked over the Bridge. That's where I saw the big shiny moon.

We get the RAJAR figures tomorrow. I have no idea how I have done all I know is that today I ranted VERY LOUDLY about feminism.

Yes it's time we took back control over Lads Mags, pole dancing and meetings in strip joints. No I'm not a prude, yes I am proud to be a dame, no I don't want to be treated like an object, yes I do like men, no I'm not an ugly old battle axe, yes I do like lipstick, no I don't think women have it all, yes I do think we have to keep up the fight. No I don't think men have it easy either but they do have a major share in our World and sometimes it has to be addressed.

If I were to really imagine what I sounded like when I have a strop I think I would give up the job, but since I never listen back to myself i'll never know what kind of pratt I'm making of myself. You can listen again though, Podcast lbc.co.uk and all the details are there.

I'm going to ring my lovely Sybil in LA now. We Skype each other. He can see my shoulders and I can see his, aint technology wonderful....

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes


1. At August 6, 2009 12:44 AM christian wrote:

SEXISM beware the old bag is on a roll xx

2. At August 6, 2009 6:01 PM Rob Elford wrote:

... a Spring roll.

3. At August 6, 2009 6:11 PM June wrote:

Hi Jeni

How mean to dangle the carrot in front of us! But whatever the project good luck.

All the best

4. At August 6, 2009 10:34 PM Marmite wrote:

Give Sybil my love, give the Oosbind my love and big fat hugs and love to you cariad.
Have you decided on your holiday yet????
Love Marmite xx

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