Fanny Haddock

Posted by Jeni in LBC | 27 August 2008

There are times when you don't know quite how discomposed you are.

This morning I arrived at LBC all a bit queasy and overheated.

We'd been to the IVY to celebrate a friends birthday. Jim had forgotten his wallet, I had forgotten how to walk in my new shoes and the chef had forgotten that it was Tuesday, the day after Bank Holiday Monday when the fresh haddock is not quite as fresh as 16.50 would have you believe.

I had overdosed on calves liver on Friday, whilst out buying gifts for the two dos I had over the weekend.

I had overindulged on very rich sherry trifle whilst trying to keep up with the other carousers on Saturdays fortieth wedding anniversary in Chatham.

I then overimbibed, overindulged and quite recklessly overdosed on Champagne cocktails in Goudhurst to celebrate the 'oosbinds coming of old-age.

By the time we had been to Tesco to claim our new bottle of Single Malt whiskey which had been accidentally dropped on the path to the Goudhurst gathering I was ready to die.

The only hope was a spot of Bank Holiday Monday telly. So wretched was I that I broke my promise to Becky in Camden who, on last Thursdays show, pledged with me to switch off all transmission until this Thursday. I did not know then that Coronation Street, my drug of choice, would be the only thing that could save me. Becky you must forgive me for I may never have made it into LBC on Tuesday morning.

I arrived bleary of eye, coated of tongue but bushy of tail. Okay not so much bushy as mangy, but arrive I did....

Tuesdays show covered a multitude of topics handled beautifully by Juicy Lucy my producer whilst Tuesday night was handled abysmally by myself and my digestive tract.

I vowed to handle today differently.

I had an early night, dosed up on Arsenicum to kill whatever the haddock had landed me with, and was determined to keep anything out of my mouth until lunchtime.

After a delicious soup with big hot carrots and sweet celery strands I entered the studio to commence Wednesday's extravaganza, and it was then that I realised I wasn't quite as composed as I thought I was.

I was so cross about the Tory suggestion that fat people should not be helped on the NHS to save money, even crosser when we discussed the cost of effective drugs, then luminiferously cross when a wonderful GP called in with a different name so as not to incriminate himself, and told us how he was reprimanded for prescribing his patients 'expensive' drugs as opposed to 'cheap' ones. THE NOTION THAT THERE IS A TWO TIER PRESCRIBING PROCESS IS AN ABOMINATION.

I calmed down after Professor Cary Cooper reminded us that being happy in our work is marginally more important than chasing the dreaded buck. Your stories were inspirational especially our new midwife who changed her career aged 38 and commences her first midwifery job at Kings College Hospital this October., I wish her well.

Life, you see, is to be lived and its never too late to change course mid stream any more than it is too late to compalin about the haddock who changed stream mid course.

It's 8.30, Juicy Lucy is celebrating her wedding anniversary tonight, lets hope she's not going anywhere near Tower Street.

I'm sticking to a light supper with maybe a sidelong glance at the telly, but only if Becky in Camden is not watching.

By the by - don't forget to book your tickets for AN AUDIENCE WITH JNI BARNETT on OCTOBER 3rd, at the BROADWAY THEATRE in CATFORD/LEWISHAM, what a lovely way to spend the evening. It starts at 8.00...all the details are on's website.

night night cuallsoon.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes


1. At August 27, 2008 10:31 PM June wrote:

Hi Jeni

I fell in love with your first caller today, John from Acton. I agreed with every thing he said, he was so articulate and it was all said from the heart.
I love the show Jeni. It's the old saying one door closes and another opens, one that you so bravely walked through and just look at you now!

Love June

Copyright 2007, Jeni Barnett. Website produced by Chopstix.