It's another Saturday Night and I ain't got nobody...

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 21 July 2007

It's 9.30pm.

Jimbo is down stairs re-writing his Punch and Judy part for the Globe. He has just sent 30 off to Prof. Doc. Jingles or Jangles, a man who lives in Norfolk. The Prof sent him two 'swazzles' so that Jim can say 'That's the way to do it' authentically.

I sent off my NI contributions so I get some kind of pension then talked to a girl friend of mine who is having to sell her house because times are so bad for actors. Her husband was on a long running TV series that made just enough for him have to huge tax bill but with precious little left over for anything else.

What nobody realises outside the industry is that you are only as flush as your last gig. Since most jobs only pay a pittance when the job finishes, there is but a crumb left to nibble on. Being that it's now a young man's game (women do figure but only if they look right), any body born after Adam Ant faces a change of career. There is only one Kate Blanchett, or John Travolta, but the cult of celebrity gives the impression that everybody working in the 'medjah' is rolling in it. The grey suits make a living, the management make a good whack, but the poor talent are just that - poor.

My girl friend's husband is a household name, but still they are having to sell up, rent in the right catchment area so that they can get their kid into the only state school with a library and spend what little they've got on medication to keep them both sane.

I sometimes wake in the middle of the night in a cold panic worrying about what's going to happen to me, him and her. Neither of us have a pension fund. B has two more years at university and I'm loathe to take up lap dancing. Although we do have a lot of Poles who have moved into T'Wells.

I am now going to sit down with my husband - get me - sit down with my husband (a rare treat) and watch a film. I deserve it. Today I cleared the airing cupboard and put all the doubles, singles and king-sized duvets in order. I colour-coded my towels and bought a bookcase from J next door to put all my new second-hand books on. Jim hasn't noticed yet. I hoovered up all of Jackson's hairs and put the washing on. I enjoy housework. Sometimes.

As I'm starting LBC next Saturday, I felt the need to put my house in order.

I made a very nice supper of trout with spinach and broccoli in garlic butter, but now I need to drink a lot of water as its made me thirsty.

Weekends are funny don't you think? We all think that everybody is having the perfect weekend that they think we are having but actually what most of us are doing is sitting down with a large glass of water watching a film. Unless you live in Carcasson and then I bet you've got your dulcimer on your knee and a bottle of pastis at your side. Whatever your chosen activity, I hope you are well. Enjoy the rest of the night and may Sunday bring you peace and second helpings. Cusoon.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes


1. At July 21, 2007 10:26 PM judi4 wrote:

You've done it again Jeni, that song is going round & round now! I've only just got rid of THAT song from the other day (I wont say the title!). How funny to meet your first boyfriend last week, I wouldn't know mine if I fell over him! I too am having a glass of water & watching an old episode of Taggart, so you aint on your own. Hope Jackson is feeling better, the trouble with dogs is they get older than us quicker (what!!) I'm sure you know what I mean. Lots a luv x

2. At July 21, 2007 11:14 PM Jason wrote:

hi Jeni, cant wait for next week to hear your lovely tones on the interweb again. Fingers crossed my router doesnt die on me like it did for your last programme :(
I know what you mean about weekends being funny, I think i've forgotten what to do on weekends as havent had a weekend off [read day off] in nearly 9 weeks so having a free day really threw me today. hope all is going well with the writing and readusoon ;-)

3. At July 22, 2007 8:14 AM lynne chazer wrote:

I was sorry to read aboutJackson and his poorly legs. Have you tried accupuncture? Our previous dog (Sally ann) was run over when she was 18 months old and sure as eggs were eggs arthritus set in later in life. There are only so many pills an animal will take. Our vets wife had just finished a course on animal accupuncture and suggested we try that. It worked, I reckon we had another 3 very happy years with her before we lost at the ripe old age of 15 years. The irronical thing was it wasn't the arthritus that beat her in the end!
Worth a try.
Keep up the good blog.

4. At July 22, 2007 9:27 AM Rhianon wrote:

I spend my working life in a day centre where I support elderly people with learning disabilities and special needs. I love the ladies and gents, and I love my job. We were out for the day last Wednesday and one of the gents suggested we go half shares on a bag of doughnuts. One of my ladies overheard him and bawled, "I know what that is, you scratch my arse and I'll scratch yours" I nearly died.
If I wrote half the things I hear at work you'd never believe me.

5. At July 22, 2007 10:55 AM Libby wrote:

Hi Jeni
I would have loved to have sat down and watched a film yesterday, I was doing Canterbury Tales in a wet village hall for charity, (great cause Helen House in Oxford) and spent most of the night dressed as a chicken doing the macarena...oh the joys of performing and I do it for free!!! Looking forward to hearing you on LBC again, their listening figures must be going up!
Lots a love
Marmite Girl xx

6. At July 22, 2007 9:23 PM jill wrote:

Hi Jeni
Well our weekend has been just wonderful. Here in Peterborough - yes yuk I know - we have had a 'gathering' - all of our kids friends - from the past 4 or so years - they, who used to come over Friday and/ or Saturday night, have a drink - or 10 and be sent home - after I'd fed them toast and hot chocolate, so as they didn't go home pissed! Rather here, safe, than on some street corner?? They still call me 'mum' -bless em all!! Well we bbq'd last night - and tonight - got p****ed last and tonight - hey what a weekend!! LOL!! There goes joe with the two lemons in his bra!!!! And he's going to be an architect!! God love him!!

Take care Jeni

J -x-

7. At July 23, 2007 9:43 AM Colin Jennings wrote:

Dear Jeni
here in darkest Africa, the weekends are far too short. With winter well past the halfway mark there is all that gardening to be done to prepare for summer. The hard work has it's reward though, stopping for lunch and that first glass of chilled white, on the sundeck, roll on next weekend!

8. At July 23, 2007 12:14 PM brumgirllostinkent wrote:

Hi Jeni
have only just discovered your blog and have spent all morning reading and laughing sooooooo much that my sides hurt, which is great as I spent all weekend reading Harry Potter and crying so much that my eyes hurt. Can I just add to all the comments saying how sorry I was to lose GFL, I can't comment on the programme that shall not be named as I have never watched it!!
Got to go now , need to ask my six year old grandson how to get LBC on the computer!!!!!!Take care Chanette

9. At July 23, 2007 12:45 PM Chrissie Carcassonne wrote:

Hi Jeni,

Now, don't panic about the future. Things are starting to go well for you with the radio and there is also your book. Think of the money "Harry Potter" made and buy some more felt tip pens.
Things are iffy this side of the trench as the husband has to go back to London to keep our basement free from Thames river water. Its the first time I have been alone here in France. Think of songs like "Only the lonley","Leaving on a jet plane" and anything by Wet Wet Wet!
Chrissie x

Copyright 2007, Jeni Barnett. Website produced by Chopstix.