Mow that lawn

Posted by Jeni in Ad Infinitum | 20 April 2007

To all of you wonderful people in Australia, I can't tell you what it means to have your sunshine on my blog. Thank you so much for bothering to write to me.

And to you, Dear Marmite Girl, my ulcers are fine now. I have never had them before, but I will remember to rub the black gold into my gums if I ever need to again. As an old crank I used Mercurious Viv., a homeopthic remedy, and all is well.

This little entry is just to say 'Hello' to you all, but I must mow the lawn before Dominic turns up.

Dominic, who rides a bicycle, digs for England and has not so much green fingers, but more a pale shade of khaki. Whatever he plants struggles to grow, but whatever he prunes grows like a demon. He hasn't been around for the last few months, not because the garden stopped growing but because he failed to give us his new telephone number. So to whoever has his old phone, I apologise for the filthy messages about beleriacs.

I'm working on a blog post about Brugge - Brughe. Very soon you will hear all about our time with the Phleghmish pholk. Cul8tr.

Jeni Barnett tells of her scrumptious time at Good Food Live in her first audiobook! Download NOW from iTunes


1. At April 20, 2007 11:16 AM Sarah Baker wrote:

Hah! Market kjhsdvklj*kbh.
I glower and go pointy lipped even when an ad for it comes on. Grrrr.

2. At April 20, 2007 3:04 PM carole smith wrote:

Welcome back Jeni,
I miss your wit, Market Kitchen is *h*t, we hope you will come back in a bit, lol. Have emailed Waitrose and inundated the message board, please tell me you ain't singing yet, luv ya, Carole.x

3. At April 20, 2007 3:33 PM katrina wrote:

Welcome back Jeni,as you've realised "your public" is missing you very much!The Plank family on Market Kitchen have successfully managed to bore the nation senseless. We are all lobbying for your return, keep your chin up and enjoy a well earned rest, you'll be back with us soon!

4. At April 20, 2007 5:05 PM Patsy Dunne wrote:

Your daughter and family are so right. I managed less than five minutes of the new 'show' and it is absolute*****88! BUT... The programme announcer said the other day, "Jeni Barnett will be back in the autumn". Does he know something we don't?

5. At April 20, 2007 5:18 PM john from shotts wrote:

Stick some chips on the vinegar,Jeni, it helps to make the smell better lol.
We got lost in Bruges a few years ago,parked the car then could'nt find the street!
Did you enjoy the moules et frites?
Hope you are enjoying yourself and I am still boycotting Market K*****N with a vengeance!
You would make an excellent host on the current Anthony Worrel Thomson show 'Daily Cooks' on ITV!

6. At April 20, 2007 5:21 PM Libby wrote:

I know you should see the message board on, Market Kitchen is really not popular at all, and people have complained that if they have said it is rubbish on UKTV food their post has been deleted. Could be time for "I told you so dance"
Jeni do you really cut your grass before the gardener comes....that's like cleaning your house before your cleaner comes...oh yes I do that!!!
Lots of love Marmite girl xx

7. At April 20, 2007 8:58 PM Jenny Blanchard wrote:

Watched a little bit of Market whatever. What a ***!!!???+++ programme. Withdrawal symptoms have definitely kicked in now. Don't know what to do with myself between 6 and 7 in the evenings. Good job I've got my little granddaughter staying or I would be climbing the walls. PLEASE COME BACK SOON, when will they see sense. Good to hear from you again. Please keep writing - it helps with the withdrawal.

Lots of Love

Jenny B

8. At April 20, 2007 10:07 PM Karen W wrote:

Jeni dearest Jeni
glad you enjoyed Bruges while we all suffered the rubbish that is Market Kitchen. I cannot even bring myself to comment as I have been very active on the UKTV Food messageboards to little avail. Most of my posts get deleted!! lol
Unfathomable the decisions that led to this travesty of a so-called food programme, its the gordon ramsey family show.

9. At April 21, 2007 12:33 AM john from shotts wrote:

Wait until Ramsay himself appears on Market ******* starts effing and blinding,choking turkeys and slaughtering pigs all in the interests of telling his kids where food comes from.
Why did'nt he just take them down the butchers and explain from there?
Preferably Pat Butchers lol

10. At April 21, 2007 2:20 AM Dusty wrote:

I agree with Lesley - by the time they have realised the error of their ways you will have moved on. Get to your retreat, get your sadness and anger out, come back raring to go and show 'em grrrlll!

A bit of kulcha from Brecht oh shiney one:-

"There are some who dwell in darkness
There are others, bathed in light
You can see those who are shining
Those in darkness, pass from sight"

Lotsa lerve - Dusty x

11. At April 21, 2007 5:14 PM Samuel Crawford wrote:

Welcome back from Bruges. I hope you ate all kinds of delicious pate and chocolate - is it me or is the Belgian version of a Continental Breakfast just a tad better than the Grimsby version which usually consists of a bun and a pot of tea?

Saw a bit of Market Kitchen with Tom Park-Your-Bike. His mother's a lovely lady but surely HRH would have said, "Listen boy, I aint 'avin you replace me Jeni so 'op it"?. Oh well, the Golden Age of UKTVFood is over. The only thing worth watching on it now are the repeats of the Two Fat Ladies and quite frankly there's only so much lard I can take.

Keep it glam. xXx

12. At April 21, 2007 5:53 PM Chris Preston wrote:

Dear Jeni,
Nothing particularly new to say, we all know Market Kitchen is mind numbingly awful (even uncut would be preferable ~ and that is saying something) But, your daily injection of humour & grace is sorely missed by so many, is it vanity to say ‘especially’ me, but this chap does miss you so!
You (& Jim!) stay safe and well in your (actually deserved) absence. Prefer to think of it as a break rather than absence; but don’t let your absence / break be too long eh?

13. At April 21, 2007 6:22 PM Hayes wrote:

Hello Jeni, it's Hayes. I've been reading your blog like you said to, its rather funny, here's something else that made me laugh, it should make you laugh too!

14. At April 21, 2007 7:03 PM john from shotts wrote:

Hi Jeni, your petition from your fans is picking up speed now!

15. At April 21, 2007 9:53 PM Rhianon wrote:

First visit to this site for a week. Ma had an accident (don't ask) and had to have plastic surgery on both legs. So I was pleased to have a bit of a smile again. I saw a few moments of the new "Kitchen,..uh,..thing." It's a bit dull, isn't it? Not a lot of laughs. Or food, for that matter. Maybe I'm missing the point, but a bunch of snotty oiks with a 'look at me and worship' attitude will never win me over.
Is it me, or is the new show a bit crappy? I won't bother to have another look.

16. At April 30, 2007 2:11 PM Rosey wrote:

They keep saying that the ratings are wonderful for Market garden but how can they be? I even emailed Waitrose to tell them they had backed the wrong programme and their reply was it was not to replace GFL - I have now asked them to read the message boards at UKTVFOOD if they havent done so already! I certainly would like to read Jeni's auto biography - yes that should be real interesting reading!
As there are so many of us who miss GFL - would like to know how do we get it back - ? I miss it so0 much - in fact I have stopped watching tv cant find anything to watch now!!Do hope you are having a good rest Jeni and that we see you back in the saddle in the not too distant future??xxx

Copyright 2007, Jeni Barnett. Website produced by Chopstix.